November 2009
30 posts
Climategate: Who can we trust with the truth?
So then. Somebody hacks into one of the mailservers of the University of East Anglia and downloads huge chunks of data including all the mail from the last few years. Once released into the public domain and protected by being replicated and distributed around the internet planet we discover that in truth the whole climate change global warming industry is founded on a lie.
Global Warming is...
“Bloody hell! Is it me or has Tony Blair suddenly aged massively in the last...”
– Christopher England just got shocked at that!
The search for non-willy porn
Why can’t I find any porn aimed at me? I mean, right, I’m a bloke, right, and so I’m not interested in men’s willies, am I? Yet, what’s porn? Yep, it’s men’s willies.
What’s that I hear you say? It’s not? You’ve seen some that wasn’t about men’s willies? I bet you haven’t.
Look, most heterosexual porn is what exactly? Yep, it’s a man and a woman having sex. And what is centre stage? A man’s...
“How come a PC mouse comes as standard with a left button, a right button and a...”
– Christopher England just said that!
Click to Plurk! →
Mumble, Twitter, mumble, Facebook, mumble, MySpace, mumble, Jaiku, mumble, Bebo, mumble. Well, now there’s Plurk. Addictive and fun whilst slightly weird. Come plurk with me? Plurk.com
Social Media - Stephen Fry, Biz Stone and Reid... →
What an excellent 80 minutes I spent watching and learning from this conference held last Thursday. It’s the guy behind LinkedIn with the guy behind Twitter in conversation with Stephen Fry. All with fascinating takes on social media, especially Twitter and Facebook, and very thought provoking. I’d urge you to click and watch!
...
Hey. You feeling weepy?
Is it the weather? Is everybody currently “under the weather”? It must be the weather. Or maybe it’s some kind of mass drugging that’s going on. Whatever it is, it’s weird and something’s not right.
Across different parts of the UK people are all suddenly and simultaneously feeling very weepy, very down, miserable, fed-up, unhappy, unsettled or spooked and...
“I see that the awful iPhone technology (especially in Australia where there must...”
– Christopher England just smirked about that!
We must stop BBC's religious propaganda
‘Thought of the Day’ is a 3 minute slot on Radio 4 during its prime time breakfast show. ’Pause for Thought’ is the equivalent for Terry Wogan’s Radio 2 show. Both have the sole purpose of allowing people to spout religious propaganda. This cannot be right.
Ok, maybe there’s a time and a place for religion in broadcasting, but why pretend religon has...
“NO Sex on TV?
What is wrong with these people who scream and shout about sex...”
– Christopher England just said that!
Money money money, in a rich man's world
Top Man: I'm sorry everybody, the company is forecast to be 15 Million Pounds in the red. Forecasts for next year are gloomy. I need to ask at least 1,000 of you to go. Firstly, I need to hear from those of you who want to volunteer. If I don't get enough then I'll have to get the axe out myself.
Top Financial Controller: (whispers to Top Man) Oh lordy, I've miscalculated again. I didn't mean 15 Million in the red, I meant 15p in the black. Heh heh heh what a silly clot am I. Sorry about that.
Top Man: (whispers back) Shh! Don't worry right now. Book all the directors into a 5 star hotel in Florida. We'll have a residential brain storming session for a week to decide on the colour of your new calculator.
Top Man: (to the crowd) Sadly, we have no money to spare to offer much more than 10 pence for every decade you've worked for the company.
Twilight Zone Announcer: It seemed like business as usual at the incredibly incompetent Bumble and Lurch Incorporated. But today was different. Today they'd get their reality check. For today they would be entering the Twilight Zone.
Confused Supermarkets
Having previously reported on the horror of daytime shopping in supermarkets, there is a side issue I need to address. It’s about the confused signals. Let me explain.
To assist those who are buying things, the products tend to have pictures on the outside of the containers of what is within. Follow me? The pack of Cornflakes has an appetising picture of a bowl of, erm, cornflakes on the outside....
The Science of Scams →
As a Derren Brown enthusiast, it’s not a surprise for me to say how delightful the Science of Scams website is. As the movement to debunk superstition and false hope picks up a pace, this has just got to be part of it. Check it out: http://www.scienceofscams.com
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs, eh?
Yes, Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs. They confuse me. Yep, they have a fear. A fear of numbers. Well, a fear of the number 666 to be more precise.
What’s that about? Surely it’s a mental condition. We see it more commonly with the fear of the number 13. Today’s Friday the 13th. Scared are you? People will pretend that the 13th floor of the building is not actually the 13th. They’ll call...
“So, the IRA / Sinn Féin were allowed to have a look over the Sellafield nuclear...”
– Christopher England was confused by that!
Big Brother is the new crack cocaine
So, here we are in a Britain with kids wandering aimlessly around in packs. These bored, restless and feral latchkey kids are going out and mugging, nicking cars, and generally terrorising people. It doesn’t matter where they live in the UK. It’s not a town thing. It’s not a country thing. It’s everywhere. Why?
Soap operas and Reality TV.
Where once upon a time children felt loved and the centre...
Say it with penis
Erm. Ok, I’m not looking, ok? But what exactly is it that I should be saying with penis?
Erm. Oh, yeah. Snort Snort. Chortle Chortle. Mine was far too large to fit in this picture, honest. F’narr F’narr.
“Merseyside fire crews were attacked on 7 different occasions as they responded...”
– Christopher England just asked that!
WatchThis is brilliant. Apparently it’s still a work in progress. Erm, like the Web?
Weird Poisoned People
Why are some people weird? It’s usually purely down to the poisons they either unknowingly or knowingly ingest.
Years and years ago when people didn’t know about such dangers, lord knows what stuff was in their food and water. Even as late as the last century people were going mad from lead poisoning because of the lead pipes used to deliver water. Harping back hundreds and hundreds of years, yes...
“Looking at me, Family Guy fans see Peter Griffin. They don’t realise I’m...”
– Christopher England just sighed that!
October 2009
31 posts
What Secret Millionaire, eh?
The Secret Millionaire is a show on TV. The idea is simple. Take one millionaire. Make him/her travel hundreds of kilometres from home. Make him/her live in a tiny tatty house for a week and volunteer with various local charities like he’s not a millionaire. He/she secretly decides who to then spring a load of his/her own personal cash on to. He/she writes out cheques comes clean about...